Help! I just posted an article and got flamed horribly for it-- will Iever be able to show my face in public again?
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This article is from the Singles FAQ, by Trygve Lode tlode@nyx.net with numerous contributions by others.
Help! I just posted an article and got flamed horribly for it-- will Iever be able to show my face in public again?
Yep; just make sure you don't show it by posting a .gif of your
face to a non-binaries group. The truth is that most people
flame articles, not people--you could post two messages in one
day and have one flamed mercilessly and the other lauded with
ASCII roses by the same people. Just because someone flamed you
for something you said doesn't mean that the person in question
hates you--the best thing to do is just take it all in stride
and keep on going. In the event that you do find that you're
getting flamed an awful lot, you may wish to consider your
presentation: even if you're saying perfectly reasonable
things, a lot of people will have trouble with what you're
saying if you 1) sound like you think you speak for all
humanity or 2) keep saying the same thing over and over instead
of listening to how people are responding to you and responding
yourself to what they say.
Contrary to popular belief, there is no requirement that one
respond to each and every flame directed one's way. Even if
someone stoops so low as to call you a "pompous spamhead" or
impugns your ability to make use of groceries that haven't been
pre-chewed, you are still free to ignore it and get on with
your life; in fact, doing so is often recommended, since people
tend to skim a lot of messages and running across a whole
stream of articles arguing over whose head bears the greatest
resemblance to lunchmeat is a lot more likely to leave the
casual reader with the impression that you _are_ a pompous
spamhead than one or two ignored flames would have. Responding
to flames and personal attacks tends to focus attention on
them, which encourages those who flame you and is likely to
make casual readers see you in a worse light. So, when in
doubt, ignore the flames and respond to the articles that
inspire you to say interesting and thought-provoking things.
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