This article is from the the official alt.spleen FAQ, by Andrew Stellman with numerous contributions by others.
Andrew says: NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT SEND ANY MAIL TO ME REQUESTING MEDICAL ADVICE! I AM NOT A DOCTOR, AND WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANY USEFUL INFORMATION.
Spleens generally prefer Twizzlers, due to the elongated shape and twisty patterns. However, some spleens are chocoholics, and should be given large packages of Sno-Caps and large drinks. Do not feed your spleen popcorn when it is in this delicate state, because the kernels get lodged in its teeth and the frustration can send it into shock.
 
Continue to: