08 Dreams and Realities
Description
This article is from the Miscarriage FAQ, by Laura Brooks brook006@mc.duke.edu with numerous contributions by others.
08 Dreams and Realities
by Nancy P. Hemenway
Reflecting back on a hot morning in early August, I distinctly remember the
eager anticipation of the long awaited culmination of my hopes and dreams
in my marriage to David. I was 38 and I had kissed a lot of frogs before my
prince came along. Hearing the loud ticking of the biological clock was
enough to throw caution to wind (along with our birth control) a whole 2
months into our marriage! My only concern at this point was that I might
get pregnant too fast and our "honeymoon" would be cut short! When nothing
happened the first year I became concerned but realizing we were both
healthy, active individuals, I pushed that thought as far away as possible
attributing it to works schedules and bad timing. Another two birthdays and
no pregnancy.
Then in July while on vacation in Florida I realized my period was late.
David and I rushed to a local drug store for our first of many home
pregnancy tests. Postive! ! I couldn't believe it! We were finally going to
have a baby. Unfortuanately, we were both a little naive and innocent about
pregnancy. At about 7 weeks I started spotting so we rushed to the Dr. and
had an ultrasound. The results were alright and everything looked fine. He
told us 20% of pregnant woman bleed. The spotting continued and the
cramping began. The next sono revealed a problem with the sac and the
doctor told us I was "threatening a miscarriage". My heart was in my knees
but I managed to pull myself together and push these negative thoughts out
of my head. At almost 10 weeks we had another ultrasound. The doctor told
us the baby was growing again and the sac looked ok. We lost the baby the
next day in the hospital emergency room. Having come from a background in
nursing, I asked for genetic testing of the fetus. I was told because it
was only my first pregnancy they would not do this. I also believe they
attributed the loss to my age (41). The genetic testing I never had could
have been a major diagnostic link with the problems we have now been
diagnosed as having.
Several months after my first miscarriage I referred myself to a
reproductive endocrinologist who tested both of us for every disease know
to man (and woman). Over the next two years, we went through ovulation
induction with all the drugs, had numerous IUI's (intrauterine
insemination) and finally three cycles of IVF. We were again, overjoyed,
when I got pregnant on the second cycle. This pregnancy ended at about 6
weeks.
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