08 What to say to SIDS parents:
Description
This article is from the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome FAQ, by David Stokes stokesd@cerf.net and Margaret D. Gibbs gibbsm@no_spam.poppyware.com with numerous contributions by others.
08 What to say to SIDS parents:
Most people are uncomfortable with death, especially when it deals
with an infant. Many people say stupid things to parents like 'You
can always have another', 'It was the will of God', or something else
that does not help the parent. Just say you're sorry for their loss,
and if you want to do more ASK what you can do.
If you can help with funeral arangements, returning clothes, driving
to support meetings, and just handing over wads of tissue as needed,
you are helping. If you can't help, keep in touch but don't stick
around.
Time takes the edge of the frequency of the pain away but the death
of the child will always be a raw nerve. It does help to ask
questions like 'what type of baby was he?' or 'can you show me some
pictures of her?'. The SIDS parent is often in a haze after the
death, but they do remember the little things.
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