Description
This article is from the Romance and
Dating FAQ, by Henning Klaskala alt.romance.FAQ@online.de with
numerous contributions by others.
A# Sensitivity Training: Developing Trust And Encouraging Openness
Getting the other person to feel comfortable with you is a
critical need. This is your responsibility!
Most people are more open than one may think, if they
feel comfortable with it, so you have to give them that feeling.
Trust is the key to openness.
The major word is trust. Once you've won someone's
trust and respect they open to you. But a trust is easy
to loose too. And if you loose someone's trust you can
never get it back.
Asking questions was heavily recommended for getting people
to open up, even when on uncertain ground.
When you know SOMETHING is wrong, but have no idea what,
bluff. Ask leading questions, like you know something
already, but {be subtle}.
Ask people about themselves. If someone finds out that
you are actually interested in THEM, it is amazing how
they will respond. You can ask questions about their
family, about their work/school, or about everyday
things, i.e., "Did anything exciting happen today/this
week?' (and follow up -- the standard response is "no"-
I usually say "C'mon, surely SOMETHING interesting happened.")
It was pointed out that it is critical to listen BEFORE asking questions,
and to consider the impact of the question on the person asked.
At first, don't ask and just listen. Never ask if you
at their place wouldn't like the question.
Be open yourself. Let people know how YOU feel.
Basically if you want to show people that you're
sensitive to have to open yourself up to them as well.
Remember, NEVER assume anything. Sure, you can guess,
but remember that you are only guessing. The main
point, though, is to tell the other person how YOU
feel...
'You seem to be nervous... Are you?'
'You still seem to be upset, and that bothers me....'
'You know, I love it when you smile at me that way....'
'I really appreciate it when you do things like this....'
'That was really fun! I'd like to do that again!'
The 'mind-readers' just voice their concerns and
thoughts, that's all. Try it. With some practice,
you'll become quite adept at it....
Advise on encouraging trust included sharing your own "secrets".
As for getting people to opening up - share activities
with them, get to know them better, most importantly,
share your feelings too.
Real concern helps too, as does a willingness to help out.
Best advice I know of is to honestly care about other
people. Then you can pick up their "vibes" almost
naturally (since you care, you pay attention to what
they like and dislike, and become aware of these things).
Be friendly, honest, and open, and you will develop the
friendships you want. Be consistent, so that people can
see you can be trusted, and they will begin to open up.
Above all, be there when your friends need you.
Continue to:
Share and Enjoy
Bookmark this story so others can enjoy it:
Tags
relationship
